Success-Oriented, Adaptable, Pragmatic, Excells Through Image
Ambitious, competent, self-assured and highly attractive. The three type is charming, charismatic, status-conscious and always driven by productivity for advancement. They are workaholics who are diplomatic, poised and overly concerned with what others think and how they look. They are highly competitive.
At their best: they are self-accepting role models who inspire others to strive for greatness.
Examplars
Create an account to see this content
Ready to find out more?
Drop us a line today for a free quote!
3 - click into The Achiever
The essence of the 3 is Love which born into a body runs a basic fear of being worthless or without inherent value.
The essence of love has been constricted and so the desire to be valuable when depleted turns to the chase for success. The chief feature inevitably becomes efficiency.
The search for success runs the passion of deceit. The deception is believing in the ego identity rather than deepening into the truth of ones nature, love.
The passion can also be held as vanity in an attempt to feel valuable, rather than going within to the source of Self. The way to arise within the Self is through the holy idea of compassion through the holy path of veracity.
Essence: Love
Holy Idea: Compassion
Holy Path: Veracity
Chief feature: Efficiency
Passion: Deceit
Idealisation: I am successful
Talking Style: Propaganda
Trap: Efficiency
Defence Mechanism: Identification
Avoidance: Failure
Dichotomy: Overactive/Fantasy
Subtypes: Self preservation – Security
Social – Prestige
Sexual – Masculine/Feminine
They want to work with the system but also like being outside of it having little patience with rules and procedures.
Awesomely Orgasmic – Fake It Til You Make It
A goal-oriented, top-performing, self-enhancing, status-orientated/career-focused lover, who feels that love is earned through their achievements. Solving intimacy issues the same way as in the workplace.
Threes Advance their Cause by impressing others with perceived or actual success or drawing the attention to themselves in order to overcome feeling shame. They become the centre of attention to attract their lover, sharing sex like putting on a performance, “Wasn't I great?” It's taken quite a few partners to get this technique wired to bask in the light of their success to seduce others while feeling less fulfilled inside.
Wing Two and Four and stretch/release points Six and Nine can all relate.
Love Type: Erotic wanting to shine brightly, child-like in their self-focus of “Look at me, look at my achievements”.
Relationship Belief: I am better than the others, a super-lover because I achieve more in bed.
Sexual frustration: My partner just doesn't get what an amazing catch I am. I bet they've never had sex this good.
By Ann Gadd
An assertive type who is ego-oriented and ego-expansive, responding to stress by reinforcing and inflating their ego and expanding it in the face of difficulty rather than withdrawing, backing down or seeking protection.
They have an intrinsic sense of self in relationship, but have issues with processing feelings. By recognising and understanding the truth of this "sense of self" they can be extremely valuable for seeing through some of the major features of ego.
Upon walking into a room, the auto-response has more difficulty with feeling like the centre as the need to feel valued, and so Threes are more covertly dependent upon the attention of others, seeking positive regard in order to feel like the centre.
"Look at what I have achieved. Affirm my value".
Dichotomy is Overactive/Fantasy
In childhood the soul was forced to shut down and believe that to have your own feelings and identity was not okay. To compensate this, the idealisation then became: I am successful.
A competency type who places emphasis on being efficient, capable and outstanding.
They focus on being pragmatic, achieving goals, and how to best present self.
They manage their feelings by repressing them and staying on task because they feel that achievements will compensate for their painful feelings. They will rather look to others for feeling cues.
They seek to work with the system, as well as being outside of it by bending rules and finding shortcuts.
Lesson 61 of "A Course in Miracles" Jesus
I am the light of the world.
Who is the light of the world except God's Son? This, then, is merely a statement of the truth about yourself. It is the opposite of a statement of pride, of arrogance, or of self-deception. It does not describe the self-concept you have made. It does not refer to any of the characteristics with which you have endowed your idols. It refers to you as you were created by God. It simply states the truth.
To the ego, today's idea is the epitome of self-glorification. But the ego does not understand humility, mistaking it for self-debasement. Humility consists of accepting your role in salvation and in taking no other. It is not humility to insist you cannot be the light of the world if that is the function God assigned to you. It is only arrogance that would assert this function cannot be for you, and arrogance is always of the ego.
True humility requires that you accept today's idea because it is God's Voice which tells you it is true. This is a beginning step in accepting your real function on earth. It is a giant stride toward taking your rightful place in salvation. It is a positive assertion of your right to be saved, and an acknowledgment of the power that is given you to save others.
You will want to think about this idea as often as possible today. It is the perfect answer to all illusions, and therefore to all temptation. It brings all the images you have made about yourself to the truth, and helps you depart in peace, unburdened and certain of your purpose.
As many practice periods as possible should be undertaken today, although each one need not exceed a minute or two. They should begin with telling yourself:
I am the light of the world.
That is my only function.
That is why I am here.
Then think about these statements for a short while, preferably with your eyes closed if the situation permits. Let a few related thoughts come to you, and repeat the idea to yourself if your mind wanders away from the central thought.
Be sure both to begin and end the day with a practice period. Thus you will awaken with an acknowledgment of the truth about yourself, reinforce it throughout the day, and turn to sleep as you reaffirm your function and your only purpose here. These two practice periods may be longer than the rest, if you find them helpful and want to extend them.
Today's idea goes far beyond the ego's petty views of what you are and what your purpose is. As a bringer of salvation, this is obviously necessary. This is the first of a number of giant steps we will take in the next few weeks. Try today to begin to build a firm foundation for these advances. You are the light of the world. God has built His plan for the salvation of His Son on you.
AND
Lesson 67 of "A Course in Miracles" Jesus
Love created me like itself.
Today's idea is a complete and accurate statement of what you are. This is why you are the light of the world. This is why God appointed you as the world's saviour. This is why the Son of God looks to you for his salvation. He is saved by what you are. We will make every effort today to reach this truth about you, and to realise fully, if only for a moment, that it is the truth.
In the longer practice period, we will think about your reality and its wholly unchanged and unchangeable nature. We will begin by repeating this truth about you, and then spend a few minutes adding some relevant thoughts, such as:
Holiness created me holy.
Kindness created me kind.
Helpfulness created me helpful.
Perfection created me perfect.
Any attribute which is in accord with God as He defines Himself is appropriate for use. We are trying today to undo your definition of God and replace it with His Own. We are also trying to emphasise that you are part of His definition of Himself.
After you have gone over several such related thoughts, try to let all thoughts drop away for a brief preparatory interval, and then try to reach past all your images and preconceptions about yourself to the truth in you. If love created you like itself, this Self must be in you. And somewhere in your mind It is there for you to find.
You may find it necessary to repeat the idea for today from time to time to replace distracting thoughts. You may also find that this is not sufficient, and that you need to continue adding other thoughts related to the truth about yourself. Yet perhaps you will succeed in going past that, and through the interval of thoughtlessness to the awareness of a blazing light in which you recognise yourself as love created you. Be confident that you will do much today to bring that awareness nearer, whether you feel you have succeeded or not.
It will be particularly helpful today to practice the idea for the day as often as you can. You need to hear the truth about yourself as frequently as possible, because your mind is so preoccupied with false self-images. Four or five times an hour, and perhaps even more, it would be most beneficial to remind yourself that love created you like itself. Hear the truth about yourself in this.
Try to realise in the shorter practice periods that this is not your tiny, solitary voice that tells you this. This is the Voice for God, reminding you of your Father and of your Self. This is the Voice of truth, replacing everything that the ego tells you about yourself with the simple truth about the Son of God. You were created by love like itself.
Three - A deeper look into the achiever
Threes are all about the sparkle, the show, and the stars who naturally take the centre stage. Their eye is always on the prize, no matter the cost. They are the Core hysteric image, otherwise known as the shame point. Known as “The Achiever”, “The Performer”, “The Winner” because when healthy, they are able to achieve great things. These people are natural Kings and Queens, sitting upon a throne of followers, always popular, attractive, stylish, gracious and with many personal accomplishments.
A Healthy Three not only knows how incredible it feels to develop themselves and contribute their abilities to the world, but they also love to motivate others to greater personal achievements beyond what they ever thought were capable. As children they were the overachievers, popular and well regarded among their peers, they were the child prodigies and class leaders. Threes are voted the class president, home-coming queen, cheerleader and school duct as they attempt to earn lovableness.
Threes, like Ones, often have a seamless quality about them where there appears to be no rough edges. However, unlike Ones, everything is on the surface. There is no plummet to the depths to find more riches with a Three because everything is already in view.
Regardless, people want to be associated with them because their skill is in being able to act as a stand-in for others, such as an MC for a performance or show. When a society or culture is seemingly healthy, the Three will embody the best of this culture because they embody the hopes and dreams mirrored in themselves. This could be seen during the administration of President Obama when the world appeared to still strive for the American Dream that was instantly ripped away by the 2020 Covid crisis.
Threes believe in themselves and in developing their talents and capacities and so are generally successful and well-liked. They act as living “role models” and paragons due to their extraordinary embodiment of socially valued qualities. Healthy Threes know that they are worth the effort it takes to be “the best that they can be'' and in doing so, they manifest a cool competence of maximum efficiency. It is their success of how they indeed get the job done that inspires others to invest in their own self-development.
Threes ensure their lives are a success, according to how this is defined by their family, culture, and social sphere. This could mean having lots of money and a grand house and other symbols of status for some families, while others may value ideas where success means being distinguished in academia or the world of science. According to place and circumstance, it could mean becoming famous as an actor, model, writer, or public figure such as a politician. In religious families where being a priest, minister or rabbi holds status in the eyes of the family and community, you will find a three type in such a profession. However the success may be defined, Threes will attempt to be the noteworthy "somebody" in their family and community. They will not be a nobody and to this end Threes will perform in ways that garner them praise and positive attention and gain self worth through success and production.
For example, the United States is a classic Three fixation nation that has held high value in image, production and success and where deep emotions are avoided. The combination of these values and qualities peak in the epicenters of the Three fixation culture seen in Washington DC, Hollywood, Sunset Boulevard and Kardashian culture. Hong Kong is another shining example of a three fixation culture.
As children, they believed they could not be loved for themselves but only for what they produced and so were able to recognise the most valued activities of their parents and peers. They therefore put their energies into excelling in these areas by cultivating and developing what is most attractive and potentially impressive.
Type Three lost touch with their essential being, seduced by images. Just as there appears to be an absence of anger in the core anger point, and an absence of fear in the core fear point, an absence of hysteria in the core hysteric point is prevalent.
Everyone needs attention, encouragement, and the affirmation of their value in order to thrive, and Threes are the type which most exemplifies this universal human need. Threes want success not so much for the things that success will buy (like Sevens do), or for the power and feeling of independence that it will bring (like Eights do). They want success because they are afraid of disappearing into a chasm of emptiness and worthlessness, devoid of the increased attention and feeling of accomplishment which success usually brings.
Threes fear that they are nobody and have no value. A perfect example of this is seen within social platforms such as Instagram and Facebook where the number of likes and followers brings and instant dopamine hit. “Going viral” in the successful way is the extreme peak of the Three fixation experience, only to dissolve into an empty abyss afterwards, what to speak of a negative viral experience.
Striving or rushing to achieve whatever is believed to make one more valuable is their inherent problem. As a result Threes can become so alienated from themselves that they lose sight of what they truly want, or what their real feelings or interests are. It is in this state where they fall prey to self–deception, deceit, and falseness of all kinds. The deeper more confounding problem thus follows: the search for a way to be of value which increasingly takes them further from their Essential Self. The ultimate disillusionment is the loss of core value: love.
From their earliest years, Threes become dependent on receiving attention from others and pursuing the values that brings reward from others and thus they gradually lose touch with themselves. Their own inner core and “heart’s desire” step by step is left behind until they no longer recognise it.
It is interesting that Threes, being the primary type of the Feeling Centre, are not known as “feeling” people, and rather are people of action and achievement. Feelings are kind of boxed, in preference for getting ahead with what they strive to achieve. This is because Threes have come to believe that emotions get in the way of their performance, so they substitute thinking and practical action for feelings.
There comes a point when a Three realises that to a certain extent they have adapted their lives to the expectations of others, and quite naturally the question arises, “What do I want?” Quite often they don't know, as they had not thought about it before this crisis point. The fundamental dilemma of Threes is that they have not allowed themselves to be who they really are and manifest their own authentic qualities. At a young age, the message was that they were not granted permission to have feelings and be themselves. They believed they must be someone else in order to be accepted. To some degree, all personality types have received this same message, but due to the nature of the Three, upon hearing it, they lived by it. The attention received by performing in a certain way was their oxygen in order to breathe. But this came at a high price of such disillusionment.
Sonja Watson Sunaina
Want to Learn more?
If this sounds like you and you're keen to learn more about how the powerful Enneagram can help you, click the button below and book a session.