Type Two - The Mother & Care Taker

Generous, Caring, Demonstrative, People-Pleaser

Empathic, sincere, and warm-hearted, twos are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing sentimentalists. These are the people-pleasers who mean well, but due to being driven by needing closeness they can slip into flattery and doing things for others for the sole purpose of feeling needed. Twos have problems with possessiveness and acknowledging their own needs.

At their Best they are selfless, altruistic and unconditional.

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2- Click into the Caretaker

The essence of the 2 is Kindness which born into a body runs a basic fear of being unworthy of being loved.

The essence of kindness has been constricted and so the desire to be loved when depleted turns to the need to be needed.

It thus is run on the passion of pride or pride of ones own virtue. This is the inability or unwillingness to acknowledge one's suffering and thus deny their own needs in the pursuit of helping others.

The chief feature therefore becomes flattery. The way into the Self and to dissolve the suffering is through the holy idea of freedom or free will on the holy path of humility

Holy Idea: Freedom

Holy Path: Humility

Chief feature: Flattery

Passion: Pride

Idealisation: I am helpful

Talking style: Giving advice

Trap: Will

Defence Mechanism: Repression

Avoidance: Needs

Dichotomy: Militant/Libertine

Subtypes: Self Preservation – Me first

Social – Ambition

Sexual – Aggression/Seduction

These are the positive-outlook types who tend to re-frame disappointments in an optimistic light, emphasising the bright and uplifting. They build morale and enjoy helping others feel good so they too can feel good.

It is difficult for them to face the dark side of themselves or anything painful, and they have trouble balancing their own needs with that of others, focusing more upon others.  

The Sexy Seducer – For You My Beloved

A sensual, seductive, caring lover who makes it all about you, while hoping secretly that you will reciprocate.

Perfectionist, conservative, controlled lover, enjoying same sex routines and daring to be wild outside of their familiar environment. A rigid outlook in sex results in covert behavior.

Sex is conditional on them being caring and earning sex by doing whatever it is they believe will please their partner. I know what you enjoy.

Wing One and Three and stretch/release points Four and Eight can all relate.

Love Type: Maternal – carers and nurturers – priding themselves on love being about the other, rather than themselves.

Relationship Belief: I am a loving and caring partner.

Sexual Frustration: I am always the one giving in the relationship and my focus on my partner's pleasures and orgasm is seldom reciprocated or even appreciated.

By Ann Gadd

In relationship, these types are compliant and have a need to be in service to others. They seek to obey the rules and meet the demands and expectations of their environment, and even if only subtle they tend to become the authority figures possessing a sense of being better than others.

Dichotomy is militant/libertine

In childhood, the soul was forced to shut down and believe that to have your own needs was not okay. To compensate for this the idealisation then became: I am helpful. 

They have a positive outlook by projecting supportive, optimistic imagery to demonstrate that they are both caring and loving. They focus on good intentions.

They tend to avoid their own neediness, disappointments and anger and instead will overemphasize the needs of others. 

Workbook Lesson 62 of "A Course in Miracles" Jesus 

Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.

It is your forgiveness that will bring the world of darkness to the light. It is your forgiveness that lets you recognise the light in which you see. Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about yourself return to your memory. Therefore, in your forgiveness lies your salvation.

Illusions about yourself and the world are one. That is why all forgiveness is a gift to yourself. Your goal is to find out who you are, having denied your Identity by attacking creation and its Creator. Now you are learning how to remember the truth. For this attack must be replaced by forgiveness, so that thoughts of life may replace thoughts of death.

Remember that in every attack you call upon your own weakness, while each time you forgive you call upon the strength of Christ in you. Do you not then begin to understand what forgiveness will do for you? It will remove all sense of weakness, strain and fatigue from your mind. It will take away all fear and guilt and pain. It will restore the invulnerability and power God gave His Son to your awareness.

Let us be glad to begin and end this day by practicing today's idea, and to use it as frequently as possible throughout the day. It will help to make the day as happy for you as God wants you to be. And it will help those around you, as well as those who seem to be far away in space and time, to share this happiness with you.

As often as you can, closing your eyes if possible, say to yourself today:

Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.
I would fulfil my function that I may be happy.

Then devote a minute or two to considering your function and the happiness and release it will bring you. Let related thoughts come freely, for your heart will recognise these words, and in your mind is the awareness they are true. Should your attention wander, repeat the idea and add:

I would remember this because I want to be happy.

2 - A Deeper Look into the Caretaker

Type Two has been called The "Helper”, “Caregiver”, or “Parent”. They are genuinely helpful to others, but when less healthy they are highly invested in 'being seen' as helpful towards others. They serve with genuine care, love, goodness, and devotion because it warms their heart and makes them feel worthwhile. They serve others with their immense appreciation, their compassion, and by helping others to see the positive qualities in themselves.

Two is the externalised version of the point Three. All image points suffer from a lack of self-worth which comes from a belief that they cannot be loved simply for being themselves. While the Three develops the strategy of attempting to be loved by what is produced, Twos want to be loved for their helpfulness. When in balance, the genuine love, support, generosity, and consideration of the Two enlivens and warms the hearts of everyone around them.

As helpers, codependents, overworking mothers and wives, they invest in being seen and seeing themselves as helpful. They render self-sacrificing service with a glowing heart and infinite patience. They role model how to enrich and deepen connection.

You will find Twos working in charities, welfare groups and worthwhile administrative affairs. Going out of their way for others fulfils their survival need and makes them feel like life has a rich meaning. They are most interested in the feel-good things of life such as love, generosity, closeness, sharing, family, and friendship. However, this care and service is generated from a feeling of a deep sense of low self-worth. The attempt to gain love and improve their fragile self-esteem by taking care of others is the motivation.

While playing strategy of being the perfect super-mum, carer, wife, or secretary they constantly deny their own needs. It is rare for them to have the energy or interest to take care of themselves in favour of fixing a gourmet candle lit meal for a lover or a family feast. When left alone they can forget eating all together.

While serving others with genuine care they are simultaneously painfully aware that no one is loving them to the level they extend to others.

In exchange for services rendered and making others feel better, an extraction process for self-worth takes hold a bit like a form of prostitution. This makes them the most overlooked, as everyone enjoys being taken care of; yet underneath the light, goodness and sweetness is a stainless steel interior. No one can make it up to the Two and what they have done for you because no one is able to care like they do. Being painfully aware of this fact they are the most dependent of all the types.

Sunaina Watson and extracts from the Enneagram Institute

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